#OctPoWriMo Day 23

In Gratitude

I pray, in thanks, for the angels
that brought my brother back
from that terrible light

tonight, for years, eyes
have been on him,
ephemeral, ancestral,
saintly, otherwordly,
and ours overflowing
with hopeless tears

brother, you tried
once again to leave me
and I think my stomach
has known this
for weeks, to hear you
speak of the fight
as a warrior, a survivor,
a soldier determined
to win against
a mind demon
we can’t see –
that helped me sleep

now I’m deep
in shock, in praise,
in a thankful way
I find difficult
to express –
no words
can tell
how I love you,
brother,
no feeling
can compare
to the torments
of this
uncertain hell

I’ve touched that fire,
brother, I’ve climbed
out of the darkness
with bloodied hands,
but still, I only
can understand
and try, try, try,
hold you in spirit
as you cry, cry, cry

one day I will see you
face to face in a new space
and we’ll have that same
tint of strengthened sadness
in our eyes

those arms of Creator
around you
are stronger than mine,
but you still fit
perfectly in my heart,
you’re in my
bloodline,
you shine
in the sky above me,
that little struggling star
in the void, so dark

over in your marshes
I hope you hear me,
singing from the sands,
thankful to God for you,
and your precious life
in His hands

Note: To clear up confusion, my brother is, thankfully, still with us. Last night he attempted suicide for the second time this year, but was brought back in the hospital. I can’t stress enough how there needs to be serious reform when it comes to mental health care in this country. This has been a years long battle and it’s been hard on my whole family, and of course, on him. I’m grateful he’s got yet another chance, and hopefully this time he can get some serious help. It’s a plea at this point. I do not know what else I can do for him other then love him and let him know. Thanks for reading. 💗