#NaPoWriMo Day 12 : “This Poem Sucks (You Should Probably Just Skip It)”

This Poem Sucks
(You Should Probably
Just Skip It)

all I should say
burns through me,
I’m engulfed in
anger flames too,
but I let you
lash out against me
& what I believe in
because I get it too

don’t group me in
with the opposite
of all that I am because
others twist a message
to suit them

don’t alienate
us who are already
marginalized because
we feel a pull toward
something that you don’t

I have to read almost
every day how my own friends
hate me (I think they just forget
because I don’t fit any
label I’m ‘supposed to’)

I’m tired of having
to log out
because scrolling
makes me feel suicidal,
& it’s never the trolls
or the randoms,
it’s you, a friend,
with your anti—

I’m used to
being stereotyped
by strangers but
it cuts deeper
when it’s from
the fingertips
of whom I love

take this as you will,
ignore it, roll your eyes,
carry on

it’s what I’m told to do
but pardon me
for feeling

I’m tired of
the need
to apologize
for who I am,
every little
sinew scrutinized,
being shoved
into too many
hate boxes — there,
I do fit somewhere
after all
— can I
be fitted for my coffin now?

can I get away from this
before it drains
my last inkling to live?

Creator, Savior,
I think they know
exactly what they’re doing,
I forgive them anyway

& forgive me too
for my fireball spitting

it’ll kill me,
but only
if I let it,

Note: This is a terrible poem. A shit-post poem, really. It’s all I got. I’m mad today. I’m human & it happens to all of us. I’m alright though. Sometimes you just gotta let some stuff out.

Published by Jennifer Patino