#NaPoWriMo 2021 Day 19 : “Ethereal Vigilance”

Ethereal Vigilance

stirred from sleep,
staring at what I think
is an otherworldly visitor,
my bad eyes straining
in the midday glow

I want it to form,
become whole, this trick
of reflection against
laminate woodgrain,
this sliver of light

sliding in from the crack
in the blackout shades,
I strain for a familiar face,
but ghosts & the best stories
are saved for snowfall days

heat is creeping up on me,
awakening my faulty
nervous system, creaking in
my weak bones, forcing me
to retreat into the shade

into the former, the shell,
the once thriving body,
whole, invincible, so
very, very wrong, so
broken yet beautiful

for all it does under
stress, in duress, yearning
for the final rest; it’s why
I seek death omens where
there are none, why I care

to make moments count
& allow myself to feel
the spectrum, the high
of the mount, the valley low,
the middling so-so

the encompassing surrender
is mine for another time,
I lay back down & smile,
whisper names for awhile,
hope to see them again soon