#OctPoWriMo 2021 — Day 28: “Non-Consensual Seizure”

Non-Consensual Seizure

“I used to have dreams that I’d die
on this day. October 28th.
It made sense later,
after a part of me was slaughtered.”

I assigned him a number
& branded it onto my palm
the night I learned
what a trigger was, the night
everyone’s eyes began
diagnosing every word I said

they slapped a lot on me, a lot
into me, I was mummified in
discharge paper bandages
& when I saw him again
he knew we were enemies

the terrorizing taunts,
the perfect pokes at my
porcelain resolve, my
fragility was a target,
& I was a statue
stuck in scream

the clock blinks
that number, knocked out
like the power lines —
      I come to in an icy
      tub      I can’t feel
      my organs      I just
      know they’re diseased
— & I confess my fear
of the combination
of water & electricity

I dream of it, I see the world
through sparks
& the demons he fed me

if they call that number out,
I’ll never claim it, I’ll
mark my grave with it,
sign another name in my
own blood so he’ll smell
my influence

hate haunts, but love
lacerates, watch me
prove it once I can move again

“No one soothes like honey,
& stings like salt
upon my wounds
like you do.”

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay