The Jam Files #9: Hijacked




The Jam Files #9: Hijacked

As if the body didn’t have enough foreign invaders to fight off. As if the battle didn’t already feel like one to throw the towel in on.

My husband & I have Covid-19 & contrary to a lot of rhetoric, it is not “just a cold” nor is a “mild” case a walk in the park. Something invisible sits on my chest. My husband wheezes through asthmatic lungs (this is his second go with this nasty virus), & we’re thankful for every moment we’re not feverish.

I get weird during fevers. I dreamt of shadow people & awoke to a room full of them. Then flashing fireworks danced behind my eyelids & I panicked. My body can’t stay in the same position for too long without cramping up & hurting, so not being able to physically turn myself over was frightening. “Not now. Not yet. This isn’t supposed to happen this way.” Whispered prayers & reassurances. Hugs & forehead kisses.

We feel we’re getting better. At least there’s the hope of it before another wave of whatever top symptom decides to fall like rain. Occasional cough is better than a racking one. Stuffy head is better than a congested chest. 

I have supersonic smell. It’s pretty wild. After hearing so much about the opposite happening I’m amazed I can smell the Chex mix my husband munches on from the next room. This is both cool & nauseating depending on the scent. How quickly things can become odors.

I am glad that this time there is no need for us to keep separate. I am happy we can monitor each other more closely. I am not happy that we are ill. Iller. God’s giving me energy from some previously untapped source because somehow I am functioning energy-wise better than I have in months. I am grateful. I believe we will recover.

I’m slowly reading Anne Rice’s “Tale of the Body Thief” & I too feel hijacked. I imagine a big “what if” scenario if possibly there is an alternate universe where a healthy me is living her best life. A healthy me that doesn’t have any extra concern about becoming infected with something else. Where the world is less deadly for her. Maybe she’s a vampire. Vampires don’t get sick so there’s the main reason why I’m obsessed with them. 

I’m due for my booster shot at the end of the month, but did I ever feel like the masks or the vaccines were life-savers? No. Hope givers I suppose, & I’ll take them.

The mantra is “We will be well.” We mutter it during our naps. We hold each other. Apologize unnecessarily. Watch way too much TV. Avoid the internet as much as possible. Believe.

I hope you all are healthy & happy. Pray for us, please. We’re hanging in here best we can.

Photo by Christian Lue on Unsplash


Published by Jennifer Patino

Poet.

32 thoughts on “The Jam Files #9: Hijacked

  1. Oh my god I’m so sorry you two have to experience all this. You two will get better very very soon, keep believing in yourself. Sending strength, prayers, hope and love your way! Wishing you get the good health as you imagine in your “what if” scenario. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. 🙏 I am praying for you both to get better soon! 🙏 I wrote a vampire comic script a while ago, like 10 years ago, a few issues, so I understand the appeal. Keep your energy up but also get rest. Sending you a hot cup of soup through the wires. 🥣

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ll be praying for you guys. My youngest brother contacted me last night to tell me he has COVID-19 as well. I hope you guys will have a smooth and speedy recovery with no lingering symptoms. 💙

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m comforted that you are getting through this one together. Unthinkable alone. I send all my prayers that you don’t have many more symptoms to suffer through and you both recover soon! 🕯

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Please take care of yourself Jennifer, and I hope that your husband also takes good care of himself! Very sad to hear this! Though, I also admire your fighting spirit! Sending best wishes to both of you so that you and your husband come out of this fighting!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So sorry you’ve had to struggle with this on top of everything else ❤ Hope you both have a safe recovery and get well soon. Sending chicken soup and hugs down the wires.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. ❤️🙏 I’m still dealing with some residual symptoms, but nothing serious. I’ve been thoroughly checked over by doctors and they assure me that my heart, lungs, and kidneys are doing fine. I thank God that I’ve recovered and that my husband is well too. I’m hopeful that the cough and chest wall inflammation will be better eventually.

      Liked by 1 person

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