The Jam Files #11 — Jet Lagged Edition

Posted byJennifer PatinoPosted inpersonal, ProseTags:, , , , ,




Enlightenment from screwing up your circadian rhythm.
East coast day time swapped with west coast nocturnality and back again. Swampy Florida still clings to my skin while desert dryness cracks my hands open again. I’m existing as a shadow who can’t find the body it belongs to.

Lots of conversations about echo chambers lately. I killed off most social media so I can tell you that escaping them (at least for me) meant actually connecting with more people. The one thing we have in common is humanity and it pains me to see so much evidence of people forgetting that. I do not care nor will I ever care who you vote or don’t vote for. I’m finding a lot of hope lately in connections with people who also do not care who you do or don’t vote for and don’t use anything political as a prerequisite for whether or not we can get along. I’ve got a big family with different views all across the board & we can all sit down & love each other. I guess I need to realize that some people don’t & just be thankful that I do.

Kill your TV unless it’s playing a Tarkovsky film. I’ve been pretty obsessed with the man lately having completed my viewings of his body of work. I’m reading “Sculpting in Time” right now too and actually getting excited about writing again. It’s been a few months since I had much of an interest in it and truly believed I was losing my love of it completely. I had to reconnect spiritually (or something), leave my stagnant environment, abandon any notion of a “reason” for doing it, and realize that forcing anything (especially art) is stupid to gain the willpower to pick up a pen again. What am I writing? I don’t know. I’m enjoying just jotting down random observations as of late instead of trying to mold some kind of semblance of a poem. I’ve given up on the fiction attempts. I completely suck at it and all the half-written attempts can just rot in the draft graveyard for all I care.

Changes are happening. (Aren’t they always?) Good changes if all goes according to plan. Health changes that I can’t keep up with. Ya know what though? I think I’m finally realizing that I’m old enough to not even let them phase me like they used to. New limitations? Ok, well, I’m old now. New pains? Ok, well, I’m old now. I just bloomed into “old & decrepit” phase early. No big deal if I’m alive to complain about it, yeah?

February already & my beloved winter will be leaving me for allergen-filled spring & hell summer. I’m prepared. Lots of tomes on my bookshelf to keep me occupied. Once I get my head screwed back on I can hopefully articulate my scattered thoughts into something more coherent. Oh, & answer the stack of correspondence from my pen pals in a way that won’t worry anyone.

Enjoy the six more weeks of winter, friends. I know I will.


Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay


Published by Jennifer Patino

Poet.

33 thoughts on “The Jam Files #11 — Jet Lagged Edition”

  3. Six more weeks is a glorious reprieve. I hope the season is kind and beautiful. 💜 Ah, social media and media in general… I used to miss you on IG and worry about you, but now I’m simply celebrating your freedom from it! The days I forget to check in are my best days. It’s a sign. 😌 You’ll get no pressure to create from me, ever. Your life is its own quiet art, and I’m sending out my steady wishes for everything to go your way!

    Liked by 3 people

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    1. Thank you so much, Sun. 💚 I was unnecessarily pressuring myself in too many areas & I’m finding it easier to function in general after breaking some chains.
      I feel like the six week thing may not apply for Vegas, but we’ll see. Another four weeks would be more than I could ask for. ❄️❄️

      Liked by 1 person

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