NaPoWriMo 2024 — Day 17

Denial For Detachment
(after Thursday’s
“Application For Release From The Dream”)

they take the stage
in a fuchsia haze
& we’ve waited
for these drum beats
to shudder our hearts
awake for too long

the star finally sings
& his angel wings
wrap around the room;
every enclosed space
tightens our soul strings,
this web of connection
is needed when we’re all
so distant, when a body
leaning into touch
seems a millennium away

the weight of everything can only
be ignored for so long / soon
the crushing energies squeeze
a stone heart ’til it shatters

once I stood inside that room
inches from a way out, grasping
for a razor thin light to guide me

I couldn’t hear the music
of an outstretched hand
because my fear kept me frozen

I ran around with gauze
in my ears & blackout shades
covering my eyes because
I could not hear, I refused to see
the torture of everything,
the inevitable collapse
of a fragile world,
hopeless & pressing,
empty, cruel, &
distressing 

I planned escapes / I carried
them out but was caught
in ipecac nets / prevented
from leaving by
all these songs
that struggled to save me

here they are again,
urging me on & away
from the cliff, though
the abyss is more tempting
than ever       I hear that
something because you
insist that I do       & I’ll
hold tight for you

I’m in the glow’s aftermath
& I can hear the distortion
ringing through however
long my eternity is

I’ll stay rooted, I’ll keep
listening as long as you
keep repeating

Note: I know I’m obsessed with this song & can’t stop listening & talking about it. I needed it badly right now, more than I thought I did.