NaPoWriMo 2024 — Day 20



Just Let Me

What happened to
milking out for the meat?
I grew up shuddering
& now my trembling
pen is hesitant.
This is my fault.
I allowed
insects to fester
inside me. I thought
I could disempower
a demon by
ignoring its grip
on me.   I’m free-falling
now. I let
the best thoughts
slip through my fingers
before I jot them down.
I lose good forms
to lightning storms.
My cinders are
poor attempts
but I keep stuffing
them down your
throat anyway.
Please accept them.
Please accept me.
I’m exhausted
from convincing
everyone I’m not
broken now.   Strong
for so long, wanting
to be weak for just
a second.   Why
am I forbidden
from what everyone
else does without
qualm?
 
I want to skip
this episode.
This simulation
failed me, failed
us all.   What I love
the most dries
up on my tongue,
& cakes my teeth,
because I’ll never
open my mouth again.
I’ll never let
my truth speak.
Never again.
You’ve made
enjoying anything
a lamentable thing.

Photo by Plato Terentev


Published by Jennifer Patino

Poet in Michigan.

9 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo 2024 — Day 20

    1. A better place hopefully. The physical pain will be with me until my kidneys fail and maybe I’ll be lucky enough to get a new one if I ever need it. I can’t do anything about that. What I can do, is navigate around them, and I think I do alright with that. ☺️ Thank you for reading!

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