I’ve Been Here Twelve Days

& I’m having the absolute time of my life! Where do I even begin? The flight to England went smoothly & surprisingly quick. I watched a bunch of movies & they even fed me. I nodded off a few times but I knew I wouldn’t sleep properly for awhile. (Yes, properly. I’m picking up on the lingo. Of course I am! I can’t help it!) I was getting questioned a lot & warned a lot about how this is just a visit, etc. I was scared for a minute, but after a phone call to Tarquin, I was allowed in. It took me forever to get my bag & then forever to figure out where the exit was, but I finally saw Tarquin waiting for me & when he looked at me I knew exactly why I flew all the way to England to meet him in person. We clicked instantly. We were holding hands at rest stops. We acted & looked like we had been together forever. I wasn’t nervous about any of this. I knew I had to do it. & I’m here & it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. 

Tarquin is the sum of all of my dreams & more. I couldn’t be happier here. It feels like home. Things are so familiar to me on a spiritual level. I’ve been exploring the town, meeting people, trying amazing foods, spending time in nature & with animals. It’s so healing here. I don’t know how else to explain it. People look like they’re from another time period here. The architecture is old. The place is adorable. I’ve walked so much of the countryside (alongside sheep! sheep just there while you’re walking along a path!), and even walked a path with Tarquin with only the light of the stars guiding us. & on a cloudy night! I was so scared. It felt spooky. Daring. But I wanted to face my fears & I always know I’m safe with Tarquin. It was so fun. We discover things together. We talk about trees & birds. We pay attention to what everything tells us. We’re the same person, I swear. 

We went & saw Fell Out Boy early! I found out they were playing the next town over on Friday night so we went instead of waiting for February & driving all the way to Manchester. I talked to the lead singer of the Green Day tribute band & the lead of Fell Out Boy & he was so nice. He said they wanted to come play shows in America & maybe they could come to Michigan. He asked why I was all the way in England. Another girl I met at the show asked me too. I said “That man over there!” & pointed to Tarquin. People in town smile at us a lot. Then some people tsk at us when we kiss on public benches! We’re not obscene in the slightest, but oh boy do we ever have fun with it now. We laugh together. We cry together. I’m settling in here so nicely. Everything feels perfect & made for me. Tarquin is perfect & most definitely made for me. I’m so in love. So is he. 

I’m meeting amazing people. I went to a healing center called Heron Meadow & we helped plant daffodil bulbs & paint a fence. The place is so magical. I had my fingers nibbled on by horses! I met a donkey named Solomon. There was a bonfire & an amazing lunch there too. & the people. Of course, the people. They hear my accent & are curious. They see me with Tarquin & stare. I had a hilarious embarrassing moment in a charity shop. I was squatting down looking at DVDs on the bottom shelf & Tarquin had been standing next to me. Well, someone was standing next to me. I grabbed a DVD & held it up in the air next to me & said “Have you seen this one!?” Tarquin’s not answering. So I repeated it. “Have you seen this one, Tarquin?!” Then I turn my head up slightly & see it’s NOT TARQUIN. It’s some other guy & Tarquin had come back in the room & he said “Are you showing me something?” or something like that. I just fell back laughing my head off & the stranger said “I just thought you were having a good time down there.” Then we started talking about film & music of today vs past. He was probably mine or Tarquin’s age I’m guessing. Because I had popped up & said to him “So, HAVE you seen this one?” These little exchanges. Tarquin & I go to Free Food Friday & Monday & talk to a nice man there. I spent time at Bethany’s house today & that was nice. Just girly time. Trying on clothes & things. The woman in town who hit my arm when she talked & said funny things like she was an auntie on the rez. The freaking butcher shop with their adorable hats & aprons. The chorus of “Ya’arite?s” & “You okay?s”. It’s like Diss for “Hey, what’s up?” The jolt of surprise when I speak & they know I’m not from around here. 

You guys, I can write an entire book about the first twelve days! I’ve seen & experienced so much. The view of the stars here! What? I have seen stars I didn’t even know were there. Clusters of stars. The Pleiades clear as day. I have seen species of birds I never have before. Learning their calls. Hearing owls. I called to one last night when we were wandering in the dark & one answered back! Deer. Deer barking at night. Other sounds that I swear are Sabe. Trees where I know fairies & little people live in. I just know. My intuition is so strong here too. I feel very much like I can be me & accepted here. It helps me accept myself & changes me so much. I feel myself changing. I feel myself stepping into myself. It’s beautiful. & it’s magical.

I hardly look at clocks here. I don’t have a cell phone that’s of any use to me because for whatever reason I can’t connect my phone to Tarquin’s wifi, so I can only pick it up in town sometimes on my phone. We have a laptop now though & I can connect that way so that’s good. It’s nice though! Not being glued to that rectangle. & letting my body just sleep when it needs to. I’m still a night owl here. I come alive at night. I know I don’t need as much sleep as others, but I do know when I need to check out & chill. Tarquin & I both understand the need for balance. We balance well, I’d say. I know he’d say too.

I miss my fam & friends in TC but I miss my fam & friends who are scattered all over the world too. I always will miss anyone I’m away from. But I have been able to be in touch with people & I know people are enjoying the Facebook updates I’m making. Tarquin & I are having so much fun. We’re going to have fun forever. I know it. Life is so freaking good my face hurts from smiling so much.

I settled on a Halloween costume after raiding Bethany’s closet today. Tentative spooky plans involve free sausage & chips for wearing a costume (or fancy dress as they call it here) & going to the cemetery & doing some paranormal investigating. Menace behaviour encouraged. (Don’t worry, all law abiding spooky fun!) Did I mention it’s October, my favorite month, & I’m in freaking England for it!? My heart twirls like the leaves in the wind on our morning walks to town. I’m so, so happy. I hope you all have at least one thing to feel happy about too.